A poker recap, in three asanas. One bad beat. Two unsolicited reviews of a man who didn't ask. And a $200 high hand that arrived like cosmic alms.
Therapist count includes Court, who is a yoga therapist and future PhD candidate of Clinical Psychology.
The crow pose — balanced on two hands and one bad assumption.
"Paul, you're bad with women."
A diagnosis filed by a man whose own About page introduces his wife as "YogaMama" and his dog as "YogaDoggo." The bench has reviewed the credentials of the witness and is ruling, with respect, inadmissible.
The eagle pose — legs crossed, eyes wide, wholly unprepared for the past tense.
"Wait. You used to be ripped?"
Surprise is a confession. The Corporate Yoga Mental Strengthening Coach — whose entire brand is built on the premise of seeing what others can't — did not see this one coming. Strengthening, apparently, has a memory. The body remembers. The reads, separately, do not.
The corpse pose — final, peaceful, financially horizontal.
"I've got this."
He did not have it. The pot went the other way. Forty minutes later, in a moment of pure cosmic comedy, the high hand bonus arrived like a $200 refund from a universe that respects the brand more than it respects the play. Variance is not skill. Variance is karma's tip jar.
From the homepage of yogadaddy.co, the brand's own self-description — now reading like prophecy:
I'm also really bad at poker.
Confirmed ✓And not very funny.
Under ReviewSo I could use a few extra bucks.
Granted · $200Source: yogadaddy.co homepage. Self-published. Self-fulfilling.
The universe owes no man — but it does, occasionally, pay a high hand.
Court's own About page reads: "Yoga, Business, Comedy, Badass'ism."
Three out of four, brother. Three out of four.